Babwa Wawa Pwowlin in Me Backyawd.

Kate at SOMEONE ELSE'S HOROSCOPE has bravely ventured where no human has gone before. In a valiant attempt to understand the inner workings of one Scary Monster, she has come up with a set of questions to help us all gain enlightenment into the world of human mental illness. Let me just pull off Me mask for a moment here...

1. When did you turn into a Scary Monster and was it a metamorphosis like the Hulk goes through or more like spiderman? What is your alter ego like?

I am not certain the word metamorphosis is the correct term. Scary Has always been there, but it wasn't until I was in high school and experimenting with, uh, yeah well lets just say that I discovered him lurking there just below the thin veneer of facade that we all present to the world. I don't think of the monster as an alter ego. I am he and he be me and we are quite comfortable with each other. I don't speak in real time like I do when I post of course, but almost everything you see and every story read about is based on actual happenings.

2. Is there one law that you would like to change?
Is there a law that you'd like to see enacted?

I would like to see the laws of gravity changed. I know this would upset brassiere manufacturers, but it would rock my world immensely. I think a law prohibiting stupidity be passed, not ignorance mind you, stupidity. Unfortunately many of those who enact and uphold the laws would suffer from such legislation, so I am afraid I will have to deal with it in my own Scary Monster way by STOMPING as often as I see fit.

3.What has been the most difficult thing for you to get used to living in a foreign country? What do you enjoy the most about being out of the U.S. and what do you miss about the U.S.?

Being apart and so darned far from my family has got to be the toughest aspect of living life abroad. I guess it just might be the same for them as well. I haven't been home in over two years and there are time when I just want to sit in the kitchen with my mom getting quietly drunk and shootin the bull while the sound of Puerto Rican drums thrum in the background.
I know it's cliche, but travel has opened my eyes up in ways that I could never have guessed. I have learned so much about myself that I feel as if I am constantly growing as a person. To be honest, if I hadn't left the country I'd probably be dead or in Jail.
Call me crazy, but I don't miss the ever present anger that I often encounter back home, but maybe that's because I'm from New York City. It's quite possible that the rest of the country doesn't suffer from road rage, incompetent civil service workers, insulting store clerks, ill mannered sales staff and obnoxious waiters.
The one thing I really miss is Sunday Brunch at Barney Greengrass. The best damned bagels, bialys, sturgeon and lox in Manhattan.

4. If you had to give up blogging, what would you do to make up that void in your life?

There wouldn't be a void Per Se. I had planned on quitting this thing at my 365th post, but I am not so obstinate about that as I once was. I want to keep in touch with the brothers, sisters and kissin cousins that I have gotten to "know" through blogging. Astounding is the only word I can use to describe the surprise with which I am confronted at being able to reach out to people and in turn allow those same people into my life. I am a bit ambivalent at the thought that at some time this thing called Me No Blog will end. It's tough bein Scary.
One thing that would result from giving up on blog time is that I could actually devote more time to writing more bedtime (Cabo) stories for my wife.

5. Do you believe in God? Heaven? Hell? Afterlife? (consider that one big run on question! lol)

Ahhh, the big question. There is a God, but God is way too busy doin' whatever it is that gods do on Mt. Olympus to be concerned about one little green monster. And he definitly ain't takin any time off to answer my prayers to hit the next powerball jackpot.

Heaven and Hell are right here and now. We create either by the way we treat ourselves and others while making time here on earth. I ain't too concerned that some supreme being is keeping tabs on what I am doing and I believe that retribution comes way before death. In fact I am damned sure of it.
You might think some people get away with abusing people, but they don't.
We should be spending more time makin love to each other and making folks feel loved. I'm starting to sound like a fuckin Hallmark card here fer cris'sake

As for the afterlife, for me it's a matter of ignorance and apathy.
Why is it that everyone was someone famous in their past life? I used to think I was a sheep- herder and a lonely one at that.

Kate, thank you for the questions. I had a really great time thinking about the answers and stepping out of character for this post. Hope you all enjoy this as much as I did...STOMP!

Okay here is YOUR chance!!! Do YOU fear an interview by The Monster?

Interview rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “Do me Monster or Give me that Scary thang”2. Me will respond by commenting back on your blog with your five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


We now return to our regular progamming...

Me No Blog!