Saturday, December 1

Places me no stomp.

Lookin through me big book of ides and topics me sees lots of things me never got around to babbling about. so Me be thinkin that this be the perfect time to let the monster run loose and see iffin Me cain't get the lot of it out.

Why do people make such a big deal about toothpaste. iffin ya squeeze it inna middle of da tube or ya leave the cap on or off me never thought it be all that big a deal. Not at least when the rent's over due.
Now iffin yer gonna talk about rent and how ya have to dole it out month after month why is it that the land lord only wants ta talk to ya when it be money yer owing him and not when it be time to fix the leaky ceiling. Me has had a roof that not only allows me to save on the water bill by collecting it in buckets strategically placed, but the tiles above me head are growing mouldy and me be thinkin that Me might just start up a bakery.

Bakeries are a pretty good business, me thinks. Can you think of any other enterprise where people are gonna need yer product to be refilled on a daily basis? It be like this: iffin ya buy an ice box then ya figger it will last either three years and a day or five years and one day, a dog is good fer about twelve to fifteen years and a wife for about seven. A car ought to last twenty years or so, unless you drive like Billy Joel or be havin the capriciousness of Paris Hilton.

Now that be a wonderful example of wasting yer life. Mr. Joel likes to spend he creativeness inside a bottle and Paris likes to flaunt the fact that she ain't got a creative bone in her body.
She's coming to Lilliput and everyone's makin a big hoo-haa over it. Me hope that some secret ninja squad will find her and put her out of me misery.

Celebrities have status that never done cease to amaze me and they all have to find some kind of cause to represent. We got ribbons fer everything: Breast Cancer, The troops fighting Bush's war of inanity(poor stompers), AIDS, Tibeten monks, the Honeybee, you name it, there be a ribbon thet someone be wearing to let ya know there be a problem that ain't been fixed yet. Me even sees them hanging out in the corner of some blogs and while me ain't gonna stomp them, Me reckons that there are so many things that mess up life that unless we all get offa our butts and get to work at becoming real then the problems of today just gonna multiply and we will hand them to the next generation of people to fix.

Now that is truly scary because the next generation is quickly becoming incapable of doing anything fer themselves. A more emotionally stunted and linguistically challenged group of people, Me done never met. We done forgot thet schooling were a privilege and now what folks be calling edumacation be only the poorest excuse fer baby sitting. Any idiot with enough time on their hands can get themselves through public school cuz we know ya don't even have ta prove that ya know anything to progress through that system and iffin daddy can foot the bill then you gonna be able to get an even more expensive yet just as worthless sheepskin. Lettin stupid folks run the world be some of the worst of things happening today.

Me not wantin ya to think that there are only crappy things goin on. The ever changing planet we live on do produce many fine examples of happy making things. Bubba teeth are still being made and reruns of the Waltons as well as Barney Miller can be found on many cable systems.

Me took a break to talk to the Vixen and find out iffin me were just rantin or me were just reasonable. The Vixen can justify anything under the sun. She be smarter than anyone me knows. Me not shittin ya here. There ain't nuthin she cain't talk about and iffin she don't know the answer she can ask the question that will keep yer brain spinnin fer quite some time searchin fer an appropriate answer. Me cain't argue, but me sees me own thangs.

Me got no touch that keepss mee sane.

5 comments:

Ed & Jeanne said...

Don't worry about this next generation. Think of all the fast food and franchises they will build by the time they grow up. Somebody will have to work there...

Anonymous said...

Oh my... You got me all dizzy over here today... Too many curves, probably... ;-)

Johanne said...

How come I am 'anonymous'.... I don't want to be 'anonymous'... not for a second!

Nessa said...

Actors were once at the bottom rung of the societal ladder and we place them at the top. (Shakes head in wonder.)

Scary Monster said...

VE~ Ronald McDonald fer President? Sounds better than the clown who be running things now.

Anonybunny~ No one be truly anonymous on the net. When it comes to curves and you, there can never be 'too many.'

Nessa~ Good point, Nessa. Iffin they all just stayed in Follywood and kept to themselves then we could just visit them from time to time like animals in a zoo.


STOMP.