Hello, I guess.
They idiot that you all know as scary monster is away doing god knows what and has left me with a whole lot of rubbish to take care of. I have to cover his classes, feed his cat and maintain this blog.
I can't believe that I got conned into doing this. Actually, I lost a bet and I am pretty sure he cheated. Warning to you: don't play cards with him.
I have been left with a set of guidelines too make sure that I don't do anything to mess up his precious web log.
1. I can discuss anything that interests me, but I am not supposed to use the nominative case. Oh, well, there goes rule No.1
2. I am not allowed to post any pictures or reveal either his name or mine to anyone. Not even to our co-workers. Well, if anyone were to make a monetary offer, I am fairly certain that I could do away with rule No. 2 as well.
3. I have to visit every one one the drop down list, read their post and comment. Every comment must end with "STOMP". I'm telling you now that you Americans are all just a bit daft. What is this stomp business.
4. I have been given this ridiculous toy as an identity albeit it is nicer than the ugly little plastic thing he keeps on top of his computer at work.
There you have it in a nutshell.
Now to do this job properly I have actually gone through many of the posts that have appeared on this site and I find it rather startling that the person who wrote all of this is the same person I work with. Although I found the stories about Cabo the frog enjoyable it would be impossible for me to descend into the same depths of vapidity and mangle my mother tongue in the same manner.
I shall return tomorrow and begin this tedious and farcical task in earnest. I beg your indulgence and require your kindness.
STOMP,
Punny Yumpkin.
25 comments:
Welcome, Punny Yumpkin! Just show us your tits and you'll be assimilated into our family.
I already like you much more than that monster asshole. Here's hoping you get the gig permanently. STUMP!
What have you done with my scary monster? lol
Hey, I think you will fit in just fine around here. Who knows, you might even like us and want to stay on! lol
When you see SM give him a big hug from me!
cheers!
Bottle Blonde:I believe that showing you my chest would not bring you as much pleasure as I would have viewing yours.STOMP
Mighty Dyckerson: Scary has told me of your particular view of the world and your colourful language. I look forward to reading your blog.STOMP
Kate: The monster (Gawd how I dislike calling him that.) is off galavanting in the wilderness somehere and I pray he doesn't get eaten by a bear.
Although I am not homophobic, it would be unseemly to give that man a hug. He might just hurt me. STOMP.
Consider yourself indulged- and greeted with kindness :)
Welcome to the blog world <3
:)
OMG I love your punkin' head
I keep wanting to call you Funny Pumpkin. Can't imagine why. Welcome. I'm looking forward to your views on the world.
I had no idea that Scary had so many rules. I thought he was all about anarchy. Welcome, Punny.
Pumkin,
Soooo... what your saying is that you are NOT really an orange puming headed creature, and Me, the Scary Montster, is not exactly as pictured---- but merely a toy Me keeps on the top of his desk?
Wow ...i'm such a sucker.
Is there gonna be some sort of battle later on - Punny Yumpkin versus Scary Monster with a lot of bi-planes flying around and maybe some subtitles?
Oh and another thing - you really do have to come visit our blogs and read them in depth. Scary does it all the time.
Great meeting you Punny!
Mayden's Voyage: Thank you. If everyone is as nice as you seem to be this just might be less of a chore than I imagined it would be. What's that funny little squiggle at the end of the sentance mean? STOMP!
Leelee: I think it's bloody awful! This is one more example of a very warped sense of humour.STOMP!
Nessa: That butterfly is absoloutely mesmerising. I, myself am also at a loss as to why you want to call me funny pumpkin. The first time I saw that thing I reminded me of a parsimmon. STOMP!
The Grunt: Hello, sir. The visit to your blog was entertaining. Your ideas about accountants and nipples are a little wacky, but they made me laugh.
The ugly one, an anarchist? I think not. You should see his bookshelves. I think he's a closet communist. STOMP!
Pari: Why is your name black when all the others are blue?
To answer your query: I believe that if you actually thought that the people writing these things looked like their pictures than I would have to say that it is quite possible that you have been spending far too much time in front of the tele.STOMP!
Corn Dog: While I would not expect any theatrics between two plastic wind up toys. I daresay that the monster will be distressed by the distinct lack of beer in his icebox when he returns home. I will be visiting you first chance I get. STOMP!
Princess of the universe: That is quite a name you've adopted. Thank you for the greeting.
<3 is supposed to look like a heart , only sideways...I'm kind of goofy that way :)
It does not mean "love" as much as it means "affection"- and any friend of the Monster is, I am sure, bound to be a friend of mine as well.
I'll miss the green guy, but also happy to see you here!
But wow, he does have a lot of bloggy rules, doesn't he?
Thank you for clearing that up.
Outdoorsy Girl: He ought to be back shortly. We have a party this weekend and he is in charge of almost everything. He's probably out making his costume for Halloween.
I believe that he wishes to maintain the integrity of his character. If I didn't have the guidelines I probably would have stuffed everything up by now.STOMP!
Dear Punny,
You are one hot Yumpkin.
Good to meet you.
Everybody is being far too polite. I'll bid $5 for info on the Stompy Dude.
xx
pinks
It's brave of the Monster to let someone else run his show.
I hope you're going to send him a note to tell him how you're getting on. Here's one I sent to my brother when he foolishly went on holiday and left me in charge of his house:
'You've run out of booze, and the bathroom was like that when I arrived. Oh, and do you have any duct tape?'
I left before he came home.
Pink: It's a pleasure to make your aquaintance. $5 won't even buy a pint of bitters in these parts. The stompy dude as you call him is a rather large and tempestuous man. He also has a fairly violent history. You will have to do better than a fin.STOMP!
Romulus Crow:Taking care of someone's flat gives you the right to consume all the alcohol in the place. As long as the cat is alive when he gets home he should have nothing to complain about. What did you need the duct tape for?STOMP!
So did he clean up yesterday just for you?
By the bye, thought I might mention you seem to be doing a most excellent and conscientious job at the Me No Blog.
Why, hello there, Punny Yumpkin. I never told Scary Monster this, but I have a thing for pumpkins. I'll try to behave, though. You're doing a very nice job of keeping house for Scary.:)
As long as you're FUNNY!!!
Oh Punny, did Scary tell you that you have to change the comment title? Well, you do, every post in fact and it has to match the post. Are you in Lilliput, Punny?
Camille Alexa: The place was spotless when I got here I saw the picture and the post predating my arrival and it looks as if he spent the week end tidying up to avoid embarrasment. STOMP.
Serena Joy: What a nice name and the disposition to match. I am not really a pumpkin, actually. I feel as if Halloween has come early this year.STOMP.
Ve: If you find me funny that will be the icing on the cake.STOMP!
Corn Dog: Change the comment title? I don't know what that is or how to go about it. I don't think it would be a good idea for me to be messing around with things.
Lilliput? Like in Gulliver's Travels? Is that what Scary calls japan? Funny. STOMP!
Post a Comment