Post, Interrupted.
Sometimes a joke is hard to write.
So me be gonna tell you an absolutely, utterly, fictional story that never actually took place, filled with the sound and fury of righteousness and indignation...
So me be gonna tell you an absolutely, utterly, fictional story that never actually took place, filled with the sound and fury of righteousness and indignation...
Mentally insert Rod Serling voice and appropriate background music.
You're traveling through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. There's a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Monster Zone!
Saturday evening: An air of festivity abounds in the local watering hole of a mid-sized city where many young Japanese people and expatriates go to meet with friends, blow off steam and have a few laughs. Among the crowd sits the Scary Monster; handsome, relaxed, poised and surrounded by some of his adoring students. He is both a charming and enchanting raconteur, but at a nearby table three fellows are boisterously enjoying their libation and their off color comments and dirty jokes, occasionally interfering with the Monster's storytelling.
The evening progresses and the remarks overheard are increasingly becoming more racist and sexist. Some guys can't help boasting about their sexual conquests and alcohol allows for embellishments that just ain't proper in mixed company.
Scary can remember the days when he too, in the folly of youth did much the same thing and so he ignored them realizing that he was in a bar and such things occur.
It wasn't until I got back from the bathroom that things got out of hand. The Guys had left their seats and were at a nearby table. They were trying to pick up some girls there. After a while without much success one of them started getting "touchy" and the woman didn't like it.
That's when stupid me decided to get involved.
I told Mr. Touchy to take his hands off the girl and go back to his table. Maybe I sould have been a little more politic about it, but I really don't like gropers and this guy was pawing the girl pretty hard.
Needless to say he and his buddies didn't like being told what to do by some "old guy" and Mr Touchy wasn't about to back down in front of his friends. At that point some of my students came by to get me to return to my seat, but I also wasn't ready to back away from this idiotic situation.
Testosterone, beer and sexual frustration can be a potent mix and if combined in the wrong proportions at the wrong time things can get nasty.
That's exactly what happened.
The fool went to give me a push and that's when I gave him a smack, slipped behind him and put him in a choke hold and knocked his legs out from under him. A fairly standard move for bouncers anywhere in the world. When his friends started to move towards me I believe I said something like, "If you take another step I will break his fucking neck" and I tightened my hold just enough to to make the guy splutter.
Needless to say the girls split and the rest of my students came over as well as the wait staff of the bar. I let the guy go and we all got asked to leave.
I truly expected to see them once we got downstairs, but when I hit the street they were not around. Lucky me.
Well that's about it no big deal, but now I have made an enemy instead of a friend and I have used brawn when I might have used my brains.
Me stomped when me might have spoken.
And Me still would take that fucker down in a New York minute.
It wasn't until I got back from the bathroom that things got out of hand. The Guys had left their seats and were at a nearby table. They were trying to pick up some girls there. After a while without much success one of them started getting "touchy" and the woman didn't like it.
That's when stupid me decided to get involved.
I told Mr. Touchy to take his hands off the girl and go back to his table. Maybe I sould have been a little more politic about it, but I really don't like gropers and this guy was pawing the girl pretty hard.
Needless to say he and his buddies didn't like being told what to do by some "old guy" and Mr Touchy wasn't about to back down in front of his friends. At that point some of my students came by to get me to return to my seat, but I also wasn't ready to back away from this idiotic situation.
Testosterone, beer and sexual frustration can be a potent mix and if combined in the wrong proportions at the wrong time things can get nasty.
That's exactly what happened.
The fool went to give me a push and that's when I gave him a smack, slipped behind him and put him in a choke hold and knocked his legs out from under him. A fairly standard move for bouncers anywhere in the world. When his friends started to move towards me I believe I said something like, "If you take another step I will break his fucking neck" and I tightened my hold just enough to to make the guy splutter.
Needless to say the girls split and the rest of my students came over as well as the wait staff of the bar. I let the guy go and we all got asked to leave.
I truly expected to see them once we got downstairs, but when I hit the street they were not around. Lucky me.
Well that's about it no big deal, but now I have made an enemy instead of a friend and I have used brawn when I might have used my brains.
Me stomped when me might have spoken.
And Me still would take that fucker down in a New York minute.
15 comments:
Seems like it was all pretty controlled, Scary. I expected worse. How did the police even get involved? Seems like it was all said and done and over. I'm sorry for you.
If they were gonna haul you in, they should have taken the other guy, too! What a jerk. If I were being harassed and groped, I'd certainly appreciate your coming to my defense.
Whatever...that jerk got what he deserved. There have been a few times when I had wished there was someone like you around to help me out of an unwanted touchy-feely situation.
I'm glad you stomped his ass. (But not that you got into the follwing trouble, though.)
I've met "Mr Touchy" there are many in his extended family. Although I generally recommend against stomping first - having been accosted by "Mr Touchy" in the past - I understand fully and I actually condone this incidence.
Corn Dog~ Instead of waiting for me outside the bar to finish things, the guy went to the Koban and filed a report. The fuzz picked me up while I was walking along the streets with my friends.
SJ~ Cops generally believe the first thing they hear. and truth be told, he never laid a hand on me. Didn't give him the chance, that is.
OG~ Me be a knight of the realm and iffin me sees a damsel in distress the code of honour demands that Me take action.
Grrrl~Me reckons that iffin someone wants to act like a neaderthal, then maybe they should go live in a cave.
Me told you a million times not to touch and grope other men. SMACK!
My hero. You're no monster. Scary or otherwise.
I'da got your back, Scary. Doing the right thing - usually harder than not.
Good on you for standing up for what you believe in.
isn't a push dangerous given to "an old guy" they could loose balance, fall and hurt themselves really badly, so you had to defend yourself preventing another push .. no ?
or is this lawyer-blahblah
I'm with GRRL. I generally recommend talking or blowing some fire breath first. But, in this case, were I one of those girls, I would have been glad that SOMEONE came to my rescue.
Where, by the way, were the ever so responsible bouncers when touchy was groping up the girls?
Good stomping.
xx
pinks
Mr.Dyckerson~ You saw right through me gay bar scenario, did you?
Lambs and Monsters- a good combination.
Karyn~ Actually it wasn't were hard. He was a bit of a pip squeek with beer muscles.
Paul~ Your hired. Get over here and baffle the magistrate by speaking dutch for me.
Pink~ Outside of Tokyo, Me have never seen a Door Man in Japan and until that incident, which concerned a Gaijin, never have seen the need for bouncers either. Great country to go drinking in
Sometimes a stomp is worth a thousand words.
The UK is the same though: the stomp, however well justified, will get you arrested.
So can the words. It just comes down to which involves least effort.
Good luck with the magistrate. I hope they have more sense than British ones.
Maybe that's how the bad blood between Godzilla and King Kong came to be.
Though I am concerned you might try to interrupt MY attempt to get to first base some evening.
Romulus~ That is as it should be. The stomp is inexcusable, but unfortunately so are the actions of some people.
Pug~ As long as yer not dry humping some poor girls leg your endeavors will go on without interference from little 'ol Moi.
My hero! Seriously, it is hard to stay in control when deciding to take a more physical route to asshole management. I'm glad you were able to handle the situation and not have it totally blow up on ya, legally speaking.
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