Gimme back Me gun
Me mailbox receives the strangest mail.
Me is fortunate in a way that the one me uses for this blog don' get no SPAM. (knock wood)
There be a lot of folks who don't comment, but enjoy leaving me messages and pictures.
Me understands why some folk like to keep things separate.
They be asking me about things that not concerned with the post at hand.
Some of them be real doozies...
Me has at least three pictures of frogs, seven of various pets, a photo shopped picture of The Monster in a compromising position and a series of snapshots sent to me by a couple of sweet gals known to me as the "Vixens."
Me also gets asked a whole lot of unusual questions. Here are some excerpts and
the replies Me sent:
"Do you know your avatar is ugly?"
Uh, yeah. Me was there when me made it. What's your excuse?
"What is the best way to clip my cat's nails?"
Do what Me does. Nibble on 'em while watching a movie.
"When is your birthday?"Me birthday is listed on page 2381 of the NYC yellow pages
"Are you really NYD?"
No. No. No. He be he, and me be me. (besides me is better looking)
"Why do you talk so funny"?
Me don't talk funny. You just read it that way.
"Do you want to meet my wife?"
Me have and me want me money back.
"What do you think you were in your past life?"
An ashtray on the Riviera.
"Have you ever been arrested?"
Me refuse to anwser that on the grounds that it might inseminate me.
Anyone else get this stuff?
Me no able to make this up.
12 comments:
Nope. I get nothing. My inbox has dust. Not bunnies, just the dust without the fluff. I do get offers to make my ____ larger. I did not realize it was common knowledge.
LMAO, Scary. People do some very strange and unexpected things, don't they? I am hurt, though, that no one ever sends me pictures and stuff. Not that I'm craving Vixen pictures, but why oh why won't Dr. McDreamy (for example) send me something? Never mind, don't answer that. I don't want to know.
Kan, they keep offering to give me bigger, more vigorous parts, too. Maybe I'll order one sometime, just for kicks. A lot of my spam is religiously themed. I take that to mean there are those who think Serena a heathen. Heh.
I have been getting Russian ads for something lately. I don't speak Russian so I don't know what they are selling me.
I could send you photos of McDreamy Serena. Send me Elle Macpherson photos and you got a deal. They must be photos I havew not seen though =P.
Yes, I am old and still carry a torch for Elle.
I've had my hotmail email for so long, I hardly get anything NOT from friends who know me well enough to actually HAVE that address...did that make sense?
Maybe I ought to switch to hotmail, Leelee. The spam that makes it to gmail is outrageous, like over 300 a week. Luckily, I don't have to see it b/c it goes to its special spam hell. I have to delete it all, though, unless I want to wait a month for it to empty automatically.
Hey, you've got a deal, Kan. We'll swap the photos. Damn, we need lives, don't we?:)
My blog email gets nothing from anyone who doesn't comment on my blog.
SJ,
Rent "Can't Buy Me Love." It is from his geekdays, but a great and funny movie.
Kan~ the Russian stuff be for mail order brides. Don't believe the pics! when they arrive they look sooooo much different. Me Mrs. Monster got a lot of facial hair and somewhat pointed ears like Mr. Spock.
Serena~ We can get you Mc. Dreamy smiling benevolently down from heaven. This way you can get Religion and Relaxation at the same time.
leelee~ No. That did NOT make sense, but me understood you. LOL.
lbb~ You and leelee make me head spin . Me problem is that me wasn't sure if what you said wasn't exactly not unincoprehensible to someone who hasn't finished their first cup of non decafinated cofee.
Ahhhh. Well, wherever it comes from, just send him, please. I don't even care if he's smiling. He looks just as good snarling.:)
(Holds hand up) I am the blogger freak fan mail king. I once got a email of a fan where her boyfriend was taking a picture of her nude in the shower. Hey, I am not going to refuse that sort of thing. That was not weird, but I used to get a ton of email of people wanting to know who the real Grunt is. Some of those people turned out to be friends. Others turned out to be freaks who liked to share with me some very disturbing aspects of their lives.
I once got a phone call from one of my fans where she just kept saying that she was real and that she was there for me, with a lot of sniffing and heavy breathing, like she'd been crying. I had no idea what brought any of that on, seriously. That was some freakin' awkward shit right there. I learned from then on not to exchange numbers with just any girl that comes to my blog.
Well you have a great and funny way dealing with spam e-mail. I liked your answers.
~Especially the one about getting your back from seeing his wife.
grrr - make that 'getting your money back after seeing his wife.'
Playing cat's cradle and typing at the same time isn't advisable.
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