Not quite Steve Irwin

Me look out the window this morning and see rain.
Me thinking "great, shitty weather on Me day off"
Sitting there with nothing to do.
Don't want to watch TV.
Don't fell like cleaning.
Reading books gonna make me fall asleep.
Woman don't want to fool around (maybe she does, but that make me fall asleep too)
Only thing to do is go outside.
First Me must get prepared for upcoming adventure.
Get out wellingtons from closet and find Me floppy hat
Now me looking like Paddington Bear.
Head out of doors into wild torment and windy situation.
Begin search.
First victim was tiny, only a little bigger tham Me feet.
Next one was muddy and deep. Create real mess stomping that one.
Sing to meself and jumping around, me neighbors maybe startin to think Me is ready for the funny farm.
Soon I spy some kids. They pass up a prime candidate. Methinking they on their way home from school and don' want to catch shit from mom.
I wait fer them to pass and walk up slowly and quietly, No longer singing Me's just humming to mesylf.
I study Me target. Crikey! Look at the contours and depth. Me notices the beautiful rainbow color swirls from the oils that float on top.
Me gets ready to spring and with both feet launch Meself.
SPLASH! Fabulous. Plop, spliter, splash.WOW! Thromp, podomp,YEAH! Shkee, pswah. YIPPEEEE!
The swan song of a stupendous puddle.
Had Me fill for the day. Suppers waitin fer Me to cook it.

Me turnin back the clock today