Wednesday, October 31

The gift of giving.

Buying gifts for people, especially ones close to you is an unbearably distressing experience fer me.
The amount of deliberation that goes into making the right choice be frustrating and monumentally confounding. First there is the occasion: are we talking about a promotion or an anniversary? Then one has to consider the intimacy between the giver and the receiver of the gift. A close friend gets something a little nicer than the guy who sits in the cubicle next to yours at work.

Today, the Monster spent three and a half hours driving to five different stores looking for a gift for the Vixen. As each attempt to find her the perfect gift failed; the amount of anxiety grew in exponential proportion to the number of retail establishments Me were visiting.
Me had to reflect on all the gifts me had ever given her in the past so as not to bore her with yet another bottle of perfume, necklace, handbag or sweater.
"God, why do me want to do this to meself?" Me were getting close to pounding me head on the steering wheel of me car in utter consternation.

It was at this point when me understood just how important the girl was to me. Even iffin me ain't the happiest of creatures, Me believes that when you can truly see the importance that another person plays in yer life, than ya can go to amazing lengths to make sure that they know what you think of them.

Woman, or more precisely put, perhaps, marriage, is the representative of life with which you are meant to come to terms.
Franz Kafka


Me no lost hope yet.

17 comments:

Nessa said...

Lovely.

? said...

Awwww, your love for your woman is sweet, Scary.

Now let's be real. You only love her 'cause she sticks her finger up yer poop shute.

;-)

Scary Monster said...

Nessa~ Thank you.

Bottle Blonde~ It's spelled with a 'C'. Me love for all people is sweet and me disgust fer them is just as strong. Stay tuned.

STOMP.

Sun Follower said...

But... you are Scary Monster and this is Halloween... that's gift in and of itself.

And sometimes we forget - it's not the gift itself but the act of giving and the thought behind it.

If you know someone really well - it's easy to get them something you know will bring a smile to their face... even if it's homeade or costs little.

Crushed said...

I wish I could find that.

doctor chip said...

OH, MY.....

even a monster as scary as one's self must face the fact that one needs a partner.

yup.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

yup.

"caramel-apple"

B-)

--------------------

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Me would've gotten her a gift certificate to Pottery Barn and spent the remaining three hours getting sloshed. BURP!

Scary Monster said...

Sun Follower~ After all our years of marriage it IS the gift that counts.

INGSOC~ Keep searchin, friend. It's out there.

Dr.Chip~ Of course Me needs a partner. Who else will wash me crusty socks?

Mr.Dyckerson~ Been there, done that. Went to the hospital to have the certificate removed from me rectum.

STOMP.

morgetron said...

I always like food. Give me food and I'm yours.

-J

Anonymous said...

This was a beautiful post, monster!

Your wife will know just how much she is loved.

The Grunt said...

That's cool you've got that kind of connection with someone. Whatever gift you get the Vixen better be good.

Libby said...

...well, the very WORST gift to give anyone is a pet, stompy, i'm sure you're not considering that, right? right??

Scary Monster said...

Morgtron~ Me be sending over 12 pizzas all with different toppings.

BBH~ Well, She'll know Me went shopping. That ought to suffice.

Grunt~ Time makes fer some kind of connection. Me got her pretty much what she's been hinting at.

Libby~ Pets? No! We got a pet.
In me opinion. The worst thing you can give someone be indifference.


STOMP!

Gaby Hess said...

So?? What did you end up getting her?

leelee said...

that was really really nice Scary..you're just an ol' softee underneath those scales.

Check out this ebay seller:

sflmaven

perhaps we could hook you up with something!

Camille Alexa said...

My man washes his own socks.

? said...

Uh, no. In MY world where we hack the English language to annoy scary monsters, it's spelled with an 's'.