Clint and Sondra's second performance

This post be inspired by VE's Fantastical Nonsense and Kanrei's home for Wayward Lemmings.
Both a deese bloggers doin produce works that are to the liking of the Monster.

In recent history VE produced Celebrity Survivor (You must go there to get this post) and pitted many of today's celebrity low life's against each other to see who gets to party and who get sent to rehab.
Kanrei stated in the comment section that he created something that were beyond the abilities of the Scary Monster, (hence the title of today's post) so Me be done decided, not to out do, but rather to augment the hillarity that VE produced (with he permission of course).
Me be thinking that he teams needed some help from those who been there before and suffered the fatal consequences of life in the fast lane. So, Now for yer time wasting pleasure, The One and Only Incredibly Scary Monster presents

The Dead Celebrity Support Teams to Next Season's Survivor.

WOMEN’S TEAM

Name: Janice Joplin.

Favorite Vice: Southern Comfort.

In support of: Amy Winehouse.

Reason for returning:
"I've been where she's going and I believe that I can keep her out of rehab and away from Jeff's little snuffer. With a bottle of booze and a bunch horny Thorny roses we'll make for the toughest team."









Name: Joan Crawford.

Favorite Vice: Coat hangers.

In support of: Britney Spears.

Reason for returning:
"This child needs to learn how to be a real bitch with style.
She's got no balls! I believe I can show her how to handle the other members of her team and keep her children in line at the same time."



Name: Marlene Dietrich.

Favorite Vice: Greta Garbo.

In support of: Paris Hilton.

Reason for returning:
"Dis Hilton girl is completely lost, dahlink. If she had talent and a thimbleful of sex appeal, she might be able to handle ze other girls. I vill make sure that she does not vant to be alone."






Name: Marylin Monroe.

Favorite Vice: Alcohol, Drugs and Presidents.

In support of: Lindsay Lohan.

Reason for returning: "Poor Lindsay is way out of control. I can make a difference, so I just had to come back. Be sides it's getting close to the fourty five year itch. She needs a true glamour gal to show her how to spiral gently and score on some really prime men before she takes the big plunge. As a team we could definitely distract the other side. Besides all the other supporters are lesbians we need something beside rug munching between tasks"







Name: Mama Cass Elliot.

Favorite Vice: Ham Sandwiches. I'm Giving up tryin to tell people otherwise. Good thing there wasn't half a man sittin on the nightstand.

In support of: Janet Jackson.

Reason for returning: "This child is following the same path that I did. She's got great pipes and maybe she too can get hit on the head with them, if she don't, and keeps on gorging, she'll end up looking like Oprah Winfrey. Plus I want to get a closer look at that nipple piercing."









Name: Tina Turner.

Favorite Vice: Strong willful males.

In support of: Whitney Huston.

Reason for returning: "Hey I ain't dead yet! Ike didn't finish me. Besides if I were dead I'd be supporting Mel Gibson."








MEN’S TEAM


Name: Errol Flynn.

Favorite Vice: Young girls, illegally young girls.

In support of: Tom Sizemore.

Reason for returning:
"When I heard Tom was In need of another penis I couldn't help but offer my services. The male in me demanded that I help tom gain the accolades in sexual achievements that I had when I was ravishing under age beauties,"







Name: John Belushi.

Favorite Vice: Sex & Drugs & Rock n Roll

In support of: Robert Downey Jr.

Reason for returning: "What can I say, this guy's a fuck up, but we comedians gotta stick together. He's been in and out of rehab more times than we've seen Paris Hilton's panties. I'm gonna do my best to keep him free, not drug free mind you. That would be impossible. Just out on the streets. I got one question fer ya though. Do I have to wear this fuckin toga the whole season? Is that my hell?"



Name: Dean Martin.

Favorite Vice: Wine Women & Song.

In support of: Ty Rennington.

Reason for returning: "Anyone who's had as many DUI's as I've had needs a little help. He needs a boozing buddy who knows all the ins and outs of Vegas. I can give him the edge over the rest of the rat pack"











Name: Rock Hudson.

Favorite Vice: Willful males Like Gomer Pyle.

In support of: Maculay Caulkin

Reason for returning: "He's pretty. He's so, so pretty. I wonder if I should go talk to Jacko before I approach him."









Name: Johnny Cash.

Favorite Vice: Drugs & Women.

In support of: Lance Garrison.

Reason for returning: "If this punk is goin to prison then he's gonna need a mentor to tell him what to expect inside of Folsom. He's a killer alright, just wanna keep him from becoming a boy named Sue. "



Name: River Pheonix.

Favorite Vice: Drugs & Poontang.

In support of: Colin Farrel.

Reason for returning: "Well, I bit the bullet early on and really didn't get a chance to do as many drugs or women as I thought I was going to do. When I saw this guy I thought to myself that I would be the perfect wingman for this guy. He ain't gonna stop and maybe I can get a contact high."


Me gotta give VE credit fer he post. This were a real pain in the butt to put together. Me didn't even bother with me dead celebrity host. Me had Foster Brooks all lined up fer the color commentary and jokes, but Me figgers most of you jokers don't even know who he is. Iffin ya do, better not admit it. You'll only date yerself.

Remember. It can happen to you

Me no flyin high.