Self imposed psyco-schitzoid manic dementia
Today we switch to either Clint Eastwood's raspy drawl or John Wayne's nasal nonchalance
Well hey all you green horns. Gather yer Conestoga wagons in a circle around the fire and give yer dogs a rest. Me puppies be barkin and Me reckons that after a long day in the saddle, you folks could use a cup of hot Texas mud or maybe a hit from the jug.The beans is ready and bubblin and the pork belly be waitin fer a fork. Hop-a-long Monster be itchin to tell you a tale, one filled to the brim with vapidity and self castigation.
Ole skinny has got he harmonica out and the moon be fairly low inna sky. Me feels it be the right time to let you know about the easiest way to mess up yer head fer quite a spell.
The first part be optional, you gauchos, but iffin ya really want the full effect you'd best put yer hand to it proper like. First ya gotta find a pair of underpants that are just a tad uncomfortable to wear while seated. Not too bad mind ya, just so they let ya know they're there. Then get in yer car just before the morning traffic jam sets in. This here be important cause you'll be wantin to raise yer spirits a bit before ya drop the boom on them. You go out and begin yer drive and enjoy some of your favorite tunes and try not to think about what you gonna let yourself in fer.
After about twenty minutes your underwear should be kickin in and startin to bite in all the wrong places makin ya feel as if ya sittin on someone's lariat and traffic has now got you boxed in and immobilized. This be where you whip out the one song that you believe will drive you nuts and pop it into yer buckboard's audio system, don't forget to push the repeat button.
After about twenty minutes your underwear should be kickin in and startin to bite in all the wrong places makin ya feel as if ya sittin on someone's lariat and traffic has now got you boxed in and immobilized. This be where you whip out the one song that you believe will drive you nuts and pop it into yer buckboard's audio system, don't forget to push the repeat button.
You must, at least fer the duration of the traffic jam: 1. Avoid changing lanes unless absolutely necessary. 2. Keep the air conditioner off (you may lower the windows) and 3. Never cease singing and trying to memorize the song. Thata'be about all pardner. You do tat and Me will guaran- goddamn- tee that you will have a most memorable day.
Once you've tried it c'mon by an fill me in on the details of yer day. This here be the song that done did me in. Iffin me ever tries it again, make sure they bury with me boots on.
Yeeeee Haaaaa!
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Though the streams are swollen
Keep them doggies rolling
Rawhide
Rain and wind and weather
Hell bent for leather
Wishing my girl was by my side
All the things Im missin
Good victuals, love and kissin
Are waiting at the end of my ride
Move em on (head em up)
Head em up (move em up)
Move em on (head em up)
Rawhide
Cut em out (ride em in)
Ride em in (cut em out)
Cut em out (ride em in)
Rawhide
Keep movin movin movin
Though their disapprovin
Keep them doggies moving
Rawhide
Dont try to understand them
Just rope, throw and brand them
Soon well be living high and wide
My hearts calculating
My true love will be waiting
Be waiting at the end of my ride
Move em up (head em up)
Head em up (move em on)
Move em on (head em up)
Rawhide
Cut em out (ride em in)
Ride em in (cut em out)
Cut em out (ride em in)
Rawhide
Yah!
Move em on (head em up)
Head em up (move em on)
Move em on (head em up)
Rawhide
Cut em out (ride em in)
Ride em in (cut em out)
Cut em out (ride em in)
Rawhide
Yah!
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Yah!
Rollin rollin rollin
Rollin rollin rollin
Yah!
Rawhide
Yah! rawhide!
Me no jokin bout this.
21 comments:
well scary, thanx for the tipbut i have my own ways of torturing myself :)
but i eliminated all the underwear that didn't fit nicely, some things i keep in perfect working order ;)
i hope your ride home was nicer?
Paul, hello! Me just wanted to see how much me could endure, but the strange thing was that on the way home me actually continued playing that damn tune. Kanrei calls it an earworm and Me thinks the appelation be apropos.
STOMP.
That just showed me that I didn't know all of the words to Rawhide ... I don't think it'd be my torture song of choice though, I'll have to think about what that song might be.
Me didn't either, but Me does now!!!
A good torture song could be anything by the Partridge Family
I'm breaking out the Ennio Morricone.
You're just a one-monster genre machine.
Okay, so there's beans and pork belly. Cowboy coffee. A little drinking. Some harmonica playing. A lot of singing. What I don't get is why we have to wear underpants for this.:-)
You didn't know the words to Rawhide? Didn't you ever see The Blues Brothers? :-)
I'll be sure to try this experiment if I ever have time alone in a car again. Having 2 kids tends to put a damper on one's automotive fun. *g*
I believe that cranking up a little OPP would be great for this challenge.
Me last girlfriend was into S & M. Needless to say, me hide was always raw. SPANK!
Camille~ Thanks for the link on yer comment. For a second me believed that you were getting ready to open a bottle of Eyetalian wine.
December~ Congratulations on the book!
That be the funny thing. Me watched the re-runs and me saw the Blues Bros. Movie, but when the song came on in me car and me tried to sing along to it Me couldn't remember any of the words.
Catherinette Singleton~ Hello and welcome to Scary's Summer Camp.
What's OPP? Is that be like NSA or LSD or maybe PIL or somethin?
Mr.Dyckerson~ While she were t6anning yer hide were she slappin the monkey too?
SJ~ You don't really need panties fer this it just happened that me had put on the Vixens undergarments and me were reliving the experience in it's entirety.
STOMP.
LOL! Does Vixen know about this?
Know about it? Sure she does. She were wearing me BVDs at the time.
StOmP.
Oh, well, that's all right, then. Carry on.:-)
Scary - are you old enough to remember the TV show Rawhide? I do. Yeah. I would watch it on the old black and white set of my great aunt and uncle's while I cooled corn on the cob over the air conditioner vent.
Me watched Rawhide and bonanza, The wild, wild west and Adam 12 and the untouchables and dozens of other t.v shows, but Me just couldn't remember the words to the theme. In fact me can't remember all the words to the love boat, the Brady Bunch, the Partridge family or the Flintstones and Baby Me loves the Stones!
Dear, dear Scary Monster. OPP is a tragic little song by Naughty By Nature that those of us that grew up in the 90's remember. Most would agree that OPP stands for Other People's Property, but it's not that simple. You'll have to take a looky loo at the lyrics to get the idea. I just figured people would love to watch me rock out to such wonderful lyrics as:
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who's down with OPP (Every last lady)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who's down with OPP (All the ladies)
It's a classic.
I've been a lurker Scary..I will MAKE time this weekend to catch up on your posts..and comments..I miss ya..real life keep interupting my blog time..I hate when That happens!
HUGS!!
Me be thanky thanky you fer the info. Will get on Lime Wire and download it in a bit. Naughty by Nature sounds a bit like me...
STOMP.
leelee sweetums! You can lurk as much and as long as you want. Me knows that you got plenty on yer plate. Once youve finished with the brussels sprouts then you can come by for dessert.
STOMP.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
His name is my name, too!
Whenever we go out,
The people always shout
There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!
Da da da da da da da
(Repeat verse again but not as loud,
and then shout the "There goes John..." line)
(Repeat verse again, whispering,
but shout the "There goes John..." line)
(Repeat verse again but not as loud,
and then shout the "There goes John..." line)
(Repeat verse again, whispering,
but shout the "There goes John..." line)
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