Horton hears a who-dang-doodle!
Got me another crazy idea folks.
Me can hear the gasps of surprise and imagine the looks of shock and horror upon yer faces.
Me remembers a time when me were just a tadpole and were hangin out with alla the other pond life and had fun times playin the 'Telephone Game'.
Can you remember doin the same thing when you were just a little 'un? Me be pretty sure that you can.
Now me wants to try and do a very similar thing, blogger style.
Iffin yer game, and me be hopin that you are, than me believes we can have a lot of fun.
When me be finished with dis post than the first person who comes by gets to comment on it. The comment ought to be like a mini post in itself fairly long and with enough material to provide the next commenter with something to work with because the following person and hopefully every one thereafter will ignore this post and every following comment except for the very last one, which will provide the material for a mini-post of your own; thereby creating a tenuous association of thought that will change and flow much in the same way as the phrases in the telephone game did.
WARNING: This be addictive and one needs a certain amount of ingenuity to partake in this game. G'wan, give it yer best shot!
Me no missin me childhood days.
Me remembers a time when me were just a tadpole and were hangin out with alla the other pond life and had fun times playin the 'Telephone Game'.
Can you remember doin the same thing when you were just a little 'un? Me be pretty sure that you can.
Now me wants to try and do a very similar thing, blogger style.
Iffin yer game, and me be hopin that you are, than me believes we can have a lot of fun.
When me be finished with dis post than the first person who comes by gets to comment on it. The comment ought to be like a mini post in itself fairly long and with enough material to provide the next commenter with something to work with because the following person and hopefully every one thereafter will ignore this post and every following comment except for the very last one, which will provide the material for a mini-post of your own; thereby creating a tenuous association of thought that will change and flow much in the same way as the phrases in the telephone game did.
WARNING: This be addictive and one needs a certain amount of ingenuity to partake in this game. G'wan, give it yer best shot!
Me no missin me childhood days.
15 comments:
I got nothing. I have tried and tried to get something, but I have nothing. No thoughts or words are combining in my head to form any sort of post. I know you want a long post, but I cannot even come up with the words for a short post explaining to you why I cannot start this great quest. It sounds wonderful and like a lot of fun, but someone with a clue should start it and not me. I got nothing.
That was sort of long actually.
Kanrei cried when he thought of how he had nothing. Nothing he said, I've got nothing.
He remembered the days when he was the ace detective of Kenrei Koo Koo Karate Kitchen and Detective Agency. He knew that martial arts and sushi didnt go that well with sleuthing but his mother had always taught him to hedge his bets.
Those were the days, he mused. Those were the days when I could follow a trail of wasabe and give one swift Karate chop and take down any crook in the hood.
But that was before HoChi Min sued him for assault.
Before HoChi Min, Kenrei had it all - a restaurant, martial arts studio and thriving gig as a private dick.
After HoChi Min cleaned him out...he had nothing.
He cried in his sake as he told the young man with the backpack his tale of woe.
Pinks, however, never cries in her sake. Instead, she recently had a bottle or two, let loose an appreciative belch, and then hit the streets in search of the sissy HoChi Min. She knew that martial arts would not work on him because he had, after all, grown up on them. The sly Pinks, the minx, had a better weapon, a superior weapon, a weapon the likes of which the pudgy HoCh Min had never seen. Yes, indeed. Pinks confronted the elusive Ho in the dark alley where he'd planned to have some fun bullying a few downtrodden souls, reached down and unbuckled, and whipped off a Jimmy Choo stiletto and proceeded to...
"Woe," sobbed Kanrei. "Woe. Woe..."
The back-packed traveler nodded and signaled the bartender for another round. Without looking at Kanrei, he pulled from one pocket a tiny bamboo egg-beater, so small it must have been made by the especially nimble fingers of the rare beetle-back marmoset.
The man set the miniature whisk on the bar between his sake and Kanrei's empty cup. He then pulled from his other pocket a Karate headband, all eighties-looking and totally not like anything Kanrei had worn since 1987--he absolutely swears. This he placed on the bar beside the bamboo whisk and the sobbing man's empty sake cup.
He turned to Kanrei. "You," he said. Kanrei stopped sobbing. Something in the stranger's tone made him peer into his face through the thin haze from cigarettes Kanrei himself had not smoked. "You," repeated the stranger, "are the detective. What do these two objects mean to you?"
Uh-oh. Have to thumb-wrestle you, my 7:14-posting friend.
Moi? LOL. It'll be fun to see the next poster clobber Ho AND see Kan pass the test and stop sobbing.:-)
Bunch of wussies...
That was the Pinot talking, folks; not me...
No. For real.
"Oh, dear Lord" Kanrei gasped, and suddenly his tears stopped. "The whisk! It brings back a memory that I can almost touch but not quite..." And he absently reached for the headband and tied it on, adjusting it so that the kanji for I WIN were centered on his forehead. "Let me think."
He downed his sake, while the mysterious stranger gently fingered the fragile whisk. Kanrei held up 2 fingers and a souvenir Ho Chi Minh (who was Chinese, but never mind that) phone card to the bartender. "Sake!" he bellowed, a flush of thinking and spirits in his cheeks.
The stranger slipped the phone card out of Kanrei's slightly drunken fingers and edged himself off his stool. Kan downed the two sake quickly as the stranger backed out the door, leaving the whisk behind.
Kanrei's brow furrowed, then relaxed. "JULIA!" he said. "God damn, it was Julia!" He tucked the whisk into the brim of his hat tenderly and left his yen on the bar. As he left, he flipped open his cell phone.
They were ushered quickly to a table in the back, possibly to give them more room, but more probably because the four were all visibly intoxicated. The husband and wife and their two single male friends had made a long night of pre-dinner cocktails, and were no longer in possession of their indoor voices.
They yammered on over two more vodka rounds while menu gazing; they argued about love, eighties music, and cat fanciers. As the waiter arrived with three salads and one soup, the wife abruptly stood up and slurred to the general vicinity that she was going home.
The waiter followed her with his stare as she stalked out of the restaurant. In a reassuring stammer, her husband looked up at him and said, "Don't mind HER... she's a DRUNK!" At this comment, one of the other two men promptly fell off his chair.
Totally fed up with the antics of the drunken fiasco at table twelve, the waiter returned to the kitchen to get a brif respite from all of the lousy customers he had to deal with during his shift.
"Hey, pendejo", yelled one of the cooks, "Your goddamn steak has been up for ten minutes"
The waiter turned and told the cook to fuck the steak. "Let those assholes serve themselves." The remark was greeted by the usual laughter and coarse banter by the rest of the restaurant staff. All of a sudden there was a thunderous crash from the alley way at the back of the Cafe...
The waiter, Kanrei, the stranger, the husband, the wife and the two male friends rushed out to explore the commotion.
It was HoChi Min held at heel point by Pinks.
HoChi Min was crying: "Please don't hurt me. I just feel so out of place in this story. I'm Chinese after all, and somehow I find myself in Japan. Please take pity on a poor lonely ex-pat"
Just then, there was a ...........
Said.... What did he say? Me tell you what he say. Get out o' me damn adopted country you Ho. Ho this, Ho that, Ho Ho Ho. What you be thinkin' it Christmas or sompin?
Wit that the Monster turned his back on the entire group, leaving them in various states of shock and confusion. He walked down a dimly lighted until he reached a shop with a flikering neon sign above the door that read...
This one bombed.
Oh well,
STOMP.
notsofast...
--until he reached a shop with a flickering neon sign above the door that read... 'Randy Sexer Talent Agency'. Newly inspired and invigorated, Scary quickly doubled back to gather the rest of the group. "Hey, me shocked and confused hu-man friendly aquaintances! Me have idea! Iffin you still care about me feelings follow me to Talent Agency down the block and follow me lead!"
With that, Scary awkwardly galloped back down the sidewalk with startling swiftness, considering his lack of legs. The waiter, Kanrei, the stranger, the husband and wife, the two male friends, Camille, ThatGreenFlower, Pink, Jimh, Ho chi Min, Serena, and Anonymous quickly followed suit. The group shuffled into the agency, and was promptly brought before the head talent agent. "Okay, so whaddya got?" he asked, with a devious grin.
Scary Monster, with the look of a deranged amphibious asexual offender, rapidly hobbled over to Ho chi Min, pulled down his pants, and started jerking off in Ho's eyes. Ho chi Min cursed and pulled a switchblade, sticking it in Scary's monster-hole. Scary screamed and bore down hard as if taking a shit, causing the knife to pop out of his sphincter with enormous velocity, flying across the room and cutting off the cook's nipples. With that the cook reflexively kicked his leg out, hitting the waiter in the balls with such force as to cause the testicles to travel up through his digestive tract with lightning speed and end up in his eye sockets, causing his eyeballs to pop out and roll across the floor.
A stunned Kanrei accidentally stepped on the eyeballs and slipped, flipping through the air in an unlikely but awesome 720 flying cartwheel, which made his pants slip down, which made him embarrassed, causing him to have a mid-air explosive bowel movement; the product of which landed squarely in the mouths of the two male friends.
The husband and wife immediately became so sexually aroused at the steamy (!) display of perverted scat-violence, that they disrobed and started sexually assaulting Jimh in seven of his eight orifices. Initially shamed and offended by the couple's unsolicited multiple-orifice gangrape-ish advances, Jimh nonetheless quickly got "hip" to it but became angry when he noticed his eighth orifice (his colostomy stoma) was being neglected. In a blind rage he beheaded the two with a simitar and proceeded to furiously hump the husband's bleeding neckhole to the beat of "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake, which was wierdly playing in the background the whole time.
Scary Monster then ran over to the cook and poked him in his nipple-holes, kicked the waiter in his ball-eyes, and shot Kanrei in the asshole with ten deer-tip arrows. Pink and Cammille ran over and both started kicking Scary in his heart, causing him to become so aroused that he prematurely ejaculated tadpoles all over the GreenFlower's custom wooden panties. Ho chi Min then started jerking off and breakdancing.
The sight of all this caused the headless married man to get an erection, which Scary bit off; holding it in his hand while spinning in a circle at a fantastic speed, slapping everyone in the room in the face repeatedly, Three Stooges-style. Everyone then had sex with each other in every conceivable position while urinating and having bowel movements. After they all climaxed, everyone took a short nap, after which Scary Monster jumped up and spread his arms out, Broadway-style, exclaming "Ta- daaa!!!"
"That's an interesting act", said the talent agent. "What on Earth do you call yourselves?"
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