Me Gets the Job Done
A sneeze is a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the nose and mouth. This air can reach speeds of 70 meters a second, thats 252 km/h or 158 mph.
They also provide for mysterious circumstances.
Earlier in the week Me were making me way back home in Bruno, the monstermobile.
A tickle in me nose grew into itch which then turned into an explosive discharge of phlegm mucus and saliva. In other words a sneeze, and a monsterous one at that. The kind of sneeze that makes you yell out "ah, shit" while yer doin it.
This time the sneeze caught me off guard and me hand didn't make it to me mouth in time.
Me felt the homunculus of goo rise from the depth of me lungs, travel up through me esophogus, knock on the uvula, pass over me tongue and fly outta me mouth, but couldn't figure out where the hell it went.
Me searched me hands.
Me searched me sleeves.
Me checked the steering wheel.
At a red light Me turned on the roof light and checked everywhere.
It were gone. Disappeared!
Someone call Sherlock Holmes or Columbo.
We got a real mystery on our hands. One that could quite possibly rival the Loch Ness Monster.
Me finished me work week today and it wer endind on a note just slightly better than it started.
The Boss called a meeting and the shit really hit the fan. Me were truly glad to get out and go home.
On the way home me decided to change the disc in me CD player.and when me went to adjust the volume the answer to the location of the egnimatic loogie revealed itself.
There on the knob was a crusty lump of what Me determined to be the missing knot of phlegm.
Me scraped it off, turned up the volume and headed home feeling better that at least one of me problems were crossed offa me list.
This might just turn out to be a good weekend after all.
Me no looking back. Just over me shoulder.
15 comments:
gezondheid!
(that's what they say in dutch when someone sneezes)
Loogie
That missing loogie reminds me of the scene in Something About Mary. It wasn't a loogie he was missing though...but it did make good hair gel for Mary...
Something About Scary...
Dang - Serena beat me to it... lol...
Seriously? This post made me laugh so hard I choked on my drink and then I got hiccoughs.
I'm such a dork.
I hate when I get pleghm on my knob. Oh wait. Actually, I don't.
Me had the same thing happen once. Only instead of a sneeze, it was diarrhea. And in me case, the shit really did hit the fan. SPLAT!
I'm thinking the "EEWWwwww!" from your carmatch game soundtrack.
I am almost speechless, what do you say in case where you misplace your phlem....Glad you found it?? LOL Just teasing!
Glad your week end a tad better than it started.
Um...what a..charming story. :-)
I've had something like that happen to me with blowing my nose and then finding out where it went much later. It wasn't a pretty sight.
LOL...GROSS...LOL :-/
nice post, Scary!
I usually wind up with it all over my shirt when that happens, and for that matter, it's usually a dress shirt or a company shirt.
one time it happened on the way to an out of town meeting.
it happened, all right, soaked my good shirt and dress pants, too.
yup.
ever try to find a Wal-Mart in a strange city, covered with phlegm?
yeah. what was worse was going into thwe store, where people saw me.
after the embarrassing purchase, I drove round back of the store to find a dumpster to change behind.
heh.
B-)
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ye gads even when little boys grow up they seem to still be interested in the grosser aspects of day to day life........farting, belching and seeing how far they can spit, is it no wonder that there are lesbians in this world......no choice.....
Paul~ Sounds a lot like German.
Corn Dog~ Wasn't too sure how to spell that word, so me just had to wing it.
Varient~ That's why me keeps the other activity at home. Do it in the car and you can get into trouble.
SJ~ That there is, me dear.
Karyn~ Dork you be not. But expelling coffee through yer nose can be hazardous to your laptop.
Pug~ Me be with you, pup.
Mr. Mightonimous~ Me read about that and it still cracks me up. Can't go to a movie anymore without wanting to take a dump.
lb b~ That works for me, kiddo.
BD29~ Me likes the new look!
As for the week, it could only get better. Me were at rock bottom.
December~ Expect no less from the Scary Monster.
Cap'n~ It never is. especially if ya don't have a hankie.
leelee 2 LOL's 1 Gross. Good enough fer me.
Doc. The strange things that happen when yer on the road.
Anon~ OK yer not gonna blame me fer lesbianism. Iffin ya want me can help you with yer conversion, but me not gonna let you blame us guys fer your hang ups.
STOMP.
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