Wholly (assinine) Days

Me isn't tryin to be cute. Me is doin me best to fit in with the silliness of the season.
Me don't want to take anything away from other peoples fun and ranting about it doesn't get me where Me want to be.
But the truth is Me just wants to STOMP on Santa and his friggin reindeer.
Me sees people walkin in a temporary state of inane holiday happiness and Me foot just gotta come down on them, splat!
Sycophants at the office party. A blast of me breath ray, cook them along with the sushi.
We put on this false facade of cheer for the people around us and act like animals in the aisles of department stores.
The amount of disrespect is proportionate to the amount of money we must relinquish to conform to the expectations of our loved ones.
Me sees it every year and me has never been able to figure it out nor heard a good explanation for it.
Maybe you can let me in on the secret.
What's so god damned merry about Christmas?

Me headin for the hills. It's less crowded there.